Kidneys and Quilts

The lady calls from the kidney donor center and wonders if I'm still interested in donating a kidney. Even though I just took a job that I won't be able to escape easily....yes, I'll look at the information.  I think I want to do this, sometime. I ask her if it's possible to be too old to donate a kidney and she laughs and says, "Sixty-five. Eighteen to sixty-five."

It's time for lighter blankets because it's summer outside so I put the quilt on the bed, made of all the little pieces that used to be my mom's wardrobe. I think about how that is the best kind of life to live....the life that breaks into many pieces and blesses people beyond it's own lifetime. 

I wonder if being used by God to bless others isn't the greatest rush possible in this world, and maybe it goes on after this world. To allow our wardrobes, our possessions, our lives, to be cut in pieces and rearranged for the good of someone else.

I sense this, but I have not lived it.  I have instead demanded from others and snapped when threatened and whined when hurt.  I want to live it...or, on the days that I don't even want to live it, Lord help me to want to want to. Help me to cross the barriers between knowing in my heart that this is the highest joy and living it with my hands and words...and kidney, if God permits. :)